Chapter 7, feelings.

I looked at Joel who was drawing in the sand. So much has happened. Ever since that day when Joel said that Alice was dead..

But since then, I've been having this strange feeling. Somesort like my own chemical reaction. I've never felt like this before, and I'm scared. I mean, of course I'll get scared. But I seriously wonder if this is normal. I still think of Alice from time to time, but not so much now, as Joel has been with me, occupying my thinking space. I guess this is a good thing, I've been having dreams of Alice telling me to forget her. I don't want to forget her, but at least, she'll still be in my heart. I know she'd be there for me somehow.

*splash*
*Joel starts laughing*
I looked back at him, then at myself, who was wet all over. He kept laughing, and I jumped into the water to join in. Whenever I'm with him, there's this certain feeling that I'd preferbaly describe it as 'heart warming', 'secure', and other things that make me smile. I don't know why, is it cause I'm weird? I wish Alice was here to guide me. Of course I've made more friends, but none of them gave me the feelings I had with Joel. Maybe.. Could it be? That I actually like him? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know what love is, anyway. I've read stories about it, that I did. But all of them didn't explain what I was feeling now.

We walked out of the shallow waters and decided to head home. Mom keeps eyeing at me with those eyes. Like, I know what's happening, and I like it, those type of expression. We headed to my room, anyway. There wasn't much to do but sit and talk, so we did that anyway. He didn't even once talk about Alice, knowing that I'd break down once he did. It has been months since that day, when he pulled me into his arms. Ever since, many people are starting to get the wrong idea that we're dating. Are we? I guess not. He didn't asked me to be his girlfriend or anything, so I guess we're not dating?

The room was filled with a hushed silence. 'Joel..?' I asked. He was awfully close to me, and I could hear his faint breathing. He looked up at me. My door creaked open silently, and my mother's hand reached in for the light switch and flipped it. I stared in horror after the door closed. At least my table lamp was on. By now, my room was quite dark and there was sort of a romantic feel to it. Joel rested his chin on my shoulder. My heart started doing it's own marathon. I just hoped that he wouldn't hear my heart fluttering away. 'Joel..?' I asked again, this time uncertain and unsure. 'Shhh, don't say a word,' He said, placing his fingertip on my lips. My mind was racing. This shouldn't be happening, right? But I ain't doing anything, is it cause I want this to happen? Is it really true that I like him? It was awfully quiet, but I didn't seem to mind, either.

He leaned closer and whispered something in my ear.
What was that? I tried to analyze what he just said.
'I..' 'Love..' 'You.'
Those three words repeated itself over and over again in my head.
I stared with opened eyes.
I didn't know that, what should I do?

Before I knew it, I had repeated the words to him. We stayed like this for what seemed like forever, and I was enjoying every minute of it.